Ever seen a successful zombie? A person with a lot of money, fame and power, but very little vitality, energy or expression? They have killed most or all of their emotions on the path to their success. Does that look like a bargain you would make? Wouldn't you want to be able to experience the passion, joy, love, enthusiasm, appreciation and all the other emotions that go with natural success? I would!
Emotions are a tricky aspect of your life. Too much and you get washed around without getting much done. Too little and you are an automaton, just going through the motions with no enjoyment of the process. What are the emotions that get in the way of success and how do you learn to manage them?
It is important to notice there are a range of emotions. And you can't just feel the positive ones. The higher you go on the emotional scale, the more you open yourself up to negative emotions as well. If you try to limit the negative, you end up limiting the positive ones too. So it's a balancing act. The good news is with practice we can learn to manage and minimize the time we spend in negative emotions.
I notice my emotions try to protect me from discomfort, the future, the past and the unknown. They distract me and derail me from my projects. They create resistance and boredom. They push me to go faster and pull me to slow down. They overwhelm me and have me on the edge of chaos. They point the finger of blame at others or wallow in the disappointment with myself. They plot righteous conversations and revenge. They can be jealous and insecure, or arrogant and greedy. They can lead to a dark pit of grief, depression and despair. Does any of this resonate with you?
All of the above can keep you from creating a vision, being aware of and using your skills and knowledge, asking for and deserving resources and support, making a plan, and rewarding yourself along the way. As I said earlier, I want to enjoy the process, but I open myself up to negative emotions by allowing myself to feel all of life as I go through the process of discovering my path to success. Or failure!
We now know that emotional intelligence, emotional awareness and emotional expression are all able to be expanded and deepened over time.
It used to be that your feelings were something that came and went with little to no thought of how, why or where they came from. They lasted as long as they did, and then we felt something else. We now know that emotional intelligence, emotional awareness and emotional expression are all able to be expanded and deepened over time. You now can manage your feelings, focus your feelings, interact with your feelings and express your feelings. This means there is a you SEPARATE from your feelings! What a revelation!
Here are some techniques I have used with my emotions on my path to success...
Track my well being daily to figure out what I need to be responsive vs reactive.
Simply notice my feelings and breathe. Don't immediately react to my feelings.
Read on emotional intelligence and raise mine over time.
Manage my body's needs (hangry!) so as to support a balanced emotional life.
Share my feelings as they come up, so as not to suppress them and impede my progress.
Do the deeper work of processing my emotional wounds from the past and the automatic coping mechanisms that got created from there.
Allow more positive emotions to occur in a natural way. Be inspired by other people, situations and things to feel more.
Get support when I dip down into negative emotions to move through them with velocity.
Deal with the consequences/hangover of too much of any emotion.
Notice when I am trying to numb out or escape from an emotion.
Notice if I am pointing an emotion at another person or situation so as not to feel it about myself.
The bottom line is we are human beings and emotions are an integral part of that experience. We can discover new ways to be present with our emotions. We can experience them in natural and healthy ways. The more you feel the more rich all of life becomes. It's worth working on.