Most of life can be boiled down to a simple question. Is this person/situation/circumstance coming from love or fear? Most of us have been reacting from these two places for many years. It is powerful to begin to use this question as a litmus test in life. But first you must decide what you are committed to. A life of fear and reactivity, safety and danger? Or a life of love and compassion, choice and empowerment? If you choose the former, you are guaranteed a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. By making the latter choice, you 'take the wheel' and steer in the direction you want to go in life. This does not mean fear will simply disappear. It does mean you will have more power and responsibility for life and your experience and results in life. If you come at people with this question of love or fear, you access compassion, support, healthy boundaries, powerful conversations, distance and closeness.
How does this work? Say I am meeting with you. I don't assess where you are coming from. We start a conversation. I react to your reactions. My mood is triggered by your mood. I am distracted or overwhelmed and talking. I can be close and present too. But I am self contained and bouncing off you and your state. Listening and not listening.
When I ask the question Love or Fear, I immediately give myself multiple choices. Do I want to stop what we were going to talk about to address your love or fear state? Do I want to engage with your fear? Is your fear about me and something I have done or said or not done/not said. Do I want my love to meet your love?
When I ask the question, I become responsible for the relationship, the conversation and the outcome. By asking and answering the question - Love or Fear I manage much of my life? Try this on. When you meet someone ask the question and then respond to the answer you see or hear. If love, meet it with love. If fear, choose what to do next. Listen, comfort, play, support, hug or a quick meeting and walk away. But choose. It makes the world a better place for us all.
Onward!